|17.08.2021|

1. It was one of bad Saturday.

but also the good one.

I thought I would cry after that 30 mins phone call. But then 02 years in the customer service field helped me to cop with anger from others at some points. I finished 06, 07 books about mediation, inner peace right before the lock down. I did not realize how it had affected to me strongly until that phone call. I released.

It is not because someone is not happy with their own life, you should loose your one peaceful Saturday. It was such an profound moment for myself after 30 years on this planet.

2. J messaged.

I decided not to reply. Most of the time, I tried to be friend w ex, but as I have mentioned before, it needs time to heal. Surprisingly, it did not hurt as it used to be. The pain never goes away, but it fades as the day went by. At first, i tried to define whether it is another validation text, but then I realized I have put all of his messages in Archived (Thanks Whatsapp for this amazing function), it means something. I messaged two other friends instead, glad they are all safe. Life is short, use wisely

3. Last night, I sent an email to the boss.

I am not often a person who want/ try to start a fight at work. 06 years in Melbourne taught me to avoid fighting by all costs. I guess, it is good in the majority of the time. However, sometimes I realized i have become weakling. Yesterday was one of the day which was different from my normal self. The day I think it is all enough, and it is an urge to have a wake up call, not just for myself but everybody else in the team. The day I decided to behave differently, to talk more at one place, talk less at the other place. If I have to put myself out there with public image, I believe I deserve a good preparation. “If I have to put my name on it, then I have to make it good as much as I could”

4. This pandemic has became an ‘energy sucker’.

Till now, I miscounted how many days have passed by and how many days left. I stopped asking myself when I could see people who I love, or just randomly drive on the street whenever I want.

Vien’s family sent us the box of food, the brother-in-law sent a very touching message that we all need to be together for going through this tough time. Or when I saw My’s card which she sent me after my break-up w J, I guess I would be forever a kid at heart. Forever I feel blessed with all the love people giving me day by day no matter how far they live away from me.

Last night I opened the box after sending those emails, went through photos by photos. All the memories flashed back, people said happy moment is short so, hold on on it.

I guess there is need to have both good and bad days. It helps you to value all the precious moment in life and cherish it. It fuels for people going through days like this. I told myself that I have to keep it up, and it is only an end when I decide to quit trying.

So I slept at night with the hope of better day than this 🙂