|13.09.2024| Women on the shelf

You could rarely find the same combination of yellow/ brown tone, thus, every sunset is unique. I remember we watched sunset from the Beaumaris coast. Somehow, that afternoon sticked with me for so long, no matter how many sunsets that I have watched, no matter how people came and left in life. As life went by, I reckon I sometimes personally taking thing for granted. I may not appreciate enough the life experiences that I accumulated throughout the year. I did not say more how I may feel… People once said, when you are closer to death, you think more on what you missed in life.

Last week, a good friend’s grandma passed away. Just like a kid at 16, I was still clumsy in giving comfort to a loved one who I care deeply. I once thought death was such a scary part of life. These days, a closing door may be an open one, that you may not reckon yet at the time. It may explain why my attitude towards death changed a lot since 11.

For an over-thinker, it seems like a lot to carry on in life. I love writing notes of my observation. It is usual a collection of thoughts during different time in life . Lots of thing, it took me years to put everything align. I learnt to listen other opinion more, while keep my idea. Many decisions that I once criticized at younger age; not looking back, I may feel disappointed but not that surprised; other time I understood why, I accepted to watch it sliding away….

Growing up older, I reckon we may never fully forget someone in life. Life goes on, times may be a pill to pamper these bitter feeling but yes, we will not forget. Every pain are eventually healed, every people need time to bounce back. As an outsider, I patiently watch my girl bouncing back one day… in the mean time, I aslo watching myself growing older…healed and alive again.