|12.01.2023|

I recently posted a story that I wrote real quick this morning, probably less than 10 mins. It is completely raw, unfiltered of my feeling which I have not spoken truly for such a long time. And truth to be told, I was surprised how many dms I’ve got since posting that one. I am always a strong, independent woman under public eyes. I guess mainly I have been raised in a family which women are leaders/ decision makers/ bread winners. Yes I was that chick who could lift up the 20 liters jar of waters at the office on her own. My strong will to debate for what I think rite (oops!) and direct, straight-to-the-point method way of communication. . Social media does blurs the line between sharing/ over sharing personal life. I could not remember correctly when but I then denied to discuss publicly about negatives in life, thing like heart broken, all the pain I suffered mentally (all the real problem!). Do not get my wrong, I am very happy with my life (as many photos showed, but that is not a full picture. I choose what I posted). There were countless times I cried at night and because hundreds times I told myself that I could go through this on my own. Excuse my sense of humor here at the same time bc ironic enough I also think no matter what happened today it is already tomorrow in Australia 🙂 . I built up my own wall with outsiders as a self defense mechanism. I guess it explains a bit for my bitterness, my dark sense of humor. All of these shit cover up many hidden scars. . The reason I decided to make this as a permanent post not to brag about my pain. But to remind myself (or any of you who read this far), 1. learn to say NO. Your intention to take care of others maybe good but learning to care your feeling first. 2. If you are upset at one point in life (exceed the normal threshold) it is okay to speak out and feel vulnerable with others. We are all human!