|10.05.2025| Black Sheep

My biggest wish once to complete my bachelor, get married w the one I loved at 22, two kids and my life would be fulfilled, I once strongly believed.

12 years laters, I am here as a 34s, successfully passed my first divorce test, right in the middle of moral/ peer pressure/ FOMO to froze my eggs….while a child in me screamed “no debt, Asian, we already win!” 

It has never been easy not to live “up to the standards”. As a transitioning Vietnam, there are too much standards 

– it is because you work in education, people dress normal, do not dress up much. Certain clothes you wear, certain behaviors are expected to prove your dignity. 

– it is because education, you need to work hard, to devote for students. Many often forget, schools are another type of business, teaches & faculties does not just purely breathe airs and live with belief. In contrast, this becomes a machine sucks more $$$ in order to survive and grow in a long period of time than multiple fields. 

– it is because you either very “white-wash”, a tan, mixture of weird clothing style as “fashion” to catch up expats. Otherwise, you are simple a pale, red lip sticks with long black hairs boring Việt chicks. 

– people are thirsty for attention

Yesterday, we spent hours talking about our weirdness comparing to the mass. After 2.5 years, maybe we reached to the stage of accepting that we are not normal after all. We live the life that we would never ever been a success for the mass.

I finally accept I am such a normal black sheep in life.